Inadequate

Insecurity is something I have dealt with my entire life. Some of my earliest memories are centered on my insecurity. I was talking with my wife recently and shared memories from my childhood in which I felt stupid or inadequate and I don’t even know why. It’s as if there has been this bend in me toward that kind of feeling. The fact is that there is. There is, within you and me, a bend toward emotional and physical instability. It’s effects from the fall. People tend to direct these feelings in different ways. Some people lash out at others because of it. Other folks, people like me, tend to turn the attention inward and blame ourselves. I never felt smart enough. I never looked good enough. I was never as socially apt as I needed to be. I was never athletic enough. Whatever it was…I wasn’t good enough. This is what I thought. This feeling wasn’t confined to a single area of my life. School, family, church, you name it, I never felt adequate. For years I tried to validate myself through multiple means, all of which to end badly. It wasn’t until I discovered my unique identity in Christ that I felt somewhat adequate. When someone develops a relationship with Jesus the healing process is often lengthy and slow. This isn’t the way it’s usually advertised. I was sold a one-size-fits-all faith that never worked. I felt let down. I realized much later that the gospel is uniquely fitted to every individual. There are as many manifestations and applications of the gospel as there are people. The gospel is unique. You are unique. I heard a phrase once that I loved. It goes, “a message that is good enough for everyone isn’t fit for anyone.” That’s so true. My question to you now is this, “What kind of message are you bringing people?” I need to see to it that in my feelings of inadequacy I invest in others and instill within them a message of unique request. While we heal from the fall let us bring others along for the slow, long, and redeeming ride as we uniquely follow Christ together.